Thoughts on a Wet Thursday Evening

Bonsoir! And greetings from the great white North! I’ve been AWOL and not sure why; I’ve been busy, I guess. Yeah, let’s go with that, I’ve been busy.

A lot has happened since I last wrote anything and I’ve been feeling pressed about it, so here goes, a little bug that has been scampering in my head for a while now.

So, it turns out, after being indecisive about being in a relationship, I want to be in one. I want to know what it feels like. I might be saying this because I’m not too busy or preoccupied with work, as usual, hence more time on my hands and free space for the thought of it.

It feels weird and different. The worst part is, I haven’t been in one before and don’t know where and how to begin.
Will I be good at it? Will I be too invested in it and lose sight of other things or people in my life? Will I be a big bore? Will we hurt ourselves? 🤷🏿‍♂️

I mean, it’s worth a shot, but at the same time, it isn’t. I’m also worried that I haven’t built capacity or discovered myself enough to the point where I want someone to be part of this whole mess.

I have fought with this idea that maybe I’m better off alone, and I’ll be alright, but at the same, thinking about the endgame, I might not be.

I don’t know, man; I don’t know.😔

Now, back to the books. I can’t suck in this area and still suck in my career as a professional.

So, there you go. I hope this becomes regular; I mean the writing.

And here’s to the loved ones we’ve lost this year and year before; you’re loved and missed every day: Shegzy, Mr. Zax, and everyone else. ❤

PS: I should probably give a recap of the gap to get you all up to speed, I just might do that and apologies for any grammatical or punctuation errors, I’ll do better next time. Danké